As many of you know, I am very passionate about underprivileged children and believe all children deserve a loving home regardless where they were born. This rock solid belief along with seeing first hand the poverty and absolute filthy living conditions some children live in in developing countries ( I hate the word "Third World") is why I chose my career as an international adoption social worker. I am an advocate for children all over the world and believe that while respecting and cultivating an appreciation for the child's culture, providing a lifelong commitment to the child and the challenges associated with adopting abroad, and having the capability of loving a child that was born to another person as if you gave birth to that child, and as long as all other placement opportunities are exhausted in the birth country, children should and need to be adopted abroad.
Anyway, I love, love, love traveling abroad and have been waiting for an opportunity to travel with FAC (Family Adoption Consultants) to Korea to bring home the children to their families. I would actually be bringing home a child to a family that I have been working with since March (I wrote their homestudy). I would be gone four days total.
The dilemma is that I have a two and a half month old baby boy whom I absolutely adore and he needs me. I know I would miss him terribly and don't want to miss a second of his life. On the other hand, this has been a dream of mine for many years and mothers go back to work all of the time right? Plus, my mom would be off of work for the holidays and so would Sanjay. All expenses are paid for and it would only be four days. But four days is a long time to be away from my baby. HELLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!! Any suggestions???
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8 comments:
What a hard decision! I feel for you! You will be so sad if you go. That said, this has been your dream! I think you should go for it. Be strong and know that you being away from Pax for 4 days is NOT going to hinder his development in any way. Sanjay and your mom can be there and hold down the fort. I think you might regret it in the future if you don't see this adoption through. Is there any way that Sanjay and Pax can travel with you?
I can see why you are torn. Seeing as how Sanjay is home and your mom will be off work (and I assume Kelly might too), and there are phones, webcams, etc., I think I would go for it. I think it sends an important message to Pax that you care for children and it would allow you to show him your core values rather than just telling him. Sanjay has traveled a bit since the baby was born and Pax survived. Although nobody could replace you or do as good a job, he will make it and will be so happy to see you when you get home!
I would not try to take him with you because it would be really hard to travel with such a small baby and I think the flight and time change would do much more damage to his schedule. That is just my opinion, though.
That is a tough decision at first but to me it is a no brainer. You need to go. It is your dream and while you're traveling it isn't a vacation it is a passion of yours and an opportunity you can't miss. Pax does need you but daddy and grandma will be just fine. Plus it isn't like he's going to remember it anyway... You need to go for yourself and for the family you're helping. Never wonder "what if..." Don't take him with you... Nobody likes a crying kid on a trans-continental flight... :)
! wILl miSh y0U d3@rly, MomMy . . . but DaDdy w!ll t@k3 good c@r3 of me whil3 you hUrry b@ck.
Love,
p@x
Go for it! In the long run, you will be so upset if you don't go. Four days away from Pax will be difficult, sure. But to think that in your four days away from him you are changing another family's life forever is completely amazing!
Life is full of tough decisions. . . do what feels right in your heart. If you do that, you will not have any regrets no matter what your decision is. Erin
Sissy,
The absolute first thing you need to do is pray, pray, and pray some more. God will put a whisper in your heart and you will follow it. It is absolutely natural to want to follow your dream. You may be a better mommy for it! I truly believe that all moms need an outlet and time to be alone. eYou will fall in love with Pax all over again when you return and truly appreciate even more the family you have if you do decide to go. I'd love to watch him! I'd probably have to fight Mom, though!
You will absolutely regret it if you don{t go. 4 days in the big scheme of things, seriously a small price to pay for taking part in changing a child{s life, not to mention the family who needs your support. This is what you do. You are still a great mother and wife, probably moreso for going and facilitating this love from across the world. Besides, you get so much one on one with Pax, Daddy needs a turn for some one on one bonding. This sounds like the perfact opportunity for everyone concerned if you ask me.
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